Beneficial exercise for cardiovascular and overall fitness.
Life skills.These include time management, self-discipline and sportsmanship.
Fun! Age group swimming can be fun, exciting and rewarding. Remember
that not every swimmer becomes a world record holder, but everyone
can gain from his or her swimming experience!
________________________
This
is a MUST read for parents- a great article by Michael Brooks-Head
Coach, North Baltimore Aquatic Club.
____________
The following links are a collection of good learning
tips and advice for parents. We'll add to the list whenever we happen
to see something great, and if you have seen something you'd like
to pass along to other parents, let us know!
10 Commandments
for Swim Parents
Glossary of Swimming
Terms
16 Values a
Swimmer Learns
From
the Deck
Are You
a Pressure Parent?
10
Ways to Sabotage
Parental
Roles
How
to Help ECSC
College Swimming
101
__________
Good Coaching for
Parents on the Team
by Dr. Alan Goldberg of Competitive Advantage
A successful swimming experience depends on parents being
proactively trained to play the right role on the parent-swimmer-coach
team. Coaches should take the time in the beginning of the season
to educate parents on their very important support position. The coach
should appeal to the parent's proper involvement for the team's and
their child's success. In parents’ meetings and in written handouts
the coach should present and discuss the correct parent, coach and
swimmer roles, the “do's and don'ts” for success.
PARENTS’ ROLE:
1. DON’T COACH - Leave coaching to coaches.
This includes pre-race psyching, motivation, after race critiquing,
setting goals, enforcing additional cross training, etc.
2. SUPPORT THE COACH - Your coaches are the experts.
They need your support for everyone to "win".
3. SUPPORT THE PROGRAM - Get involved. Volunteer.
Help out at meets, fundraisers, etc.
4. BE YOUR CHILD’S BEST FAN - Support your
child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs
poorly. Your child should not have to perform to win your love.
5. SUPPORT AND ROOT FOR ALL SWIMMERS ON THE TEAM
- Foster teamwork. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When
they go faster than your child, your child now has a wonderful opportunity
to improve.
6. DO NOT BRIBE OR OFFER INCENTIVES - Your job
is not to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff. Bribes will
distract your child from proper race concentration.
7. TAKE YOUR CONCERNS AND PROBLEMS DIRECTLY TO THE COACH
- If you have a problem with the coach, do not go to other parents
to discuss it. Go straight to the coach involved. Talking behind the
coach’s back will not get you what you want.
8. UNDERSTAND AND DISPLAY APPROPRIATE MEET BEHAVIOUR - Remember
your child's self-esteem and race performance is at stake. Be supportive
and cheer but always be appropriate.
9. MONITOR YOUR CHILD’S STRESS LEVEL AT HOME
- Keep an eye on your swimmer to make sure he is handling stress effectively
from the various activities in his life.
10. MONITOR EATING AND SLEEPING HABITS - Be sure
your child is eating the proper foods and getting adequate enough
rest.
11. HELP YOUR CHILD KEEP HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT
- Help your child maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and
the other important things in life besides swimming. Also’ if
your child has made a commitment to swimming, help her keep the priorities
around this in mind.
12. “REALITY TEST” FOR YOUR CHILD -
If a swimmer comes out of the pool with a personal best time and a
last place finish, help him understand that this is a "win".
Help him keep things in their proper perspective including losses,
disappointments and failures.
13. KEEP SWIMMING IN PERSPECTIVE – Swimming
should not be larger than life for you. If your child's performances
elicit strong emotions, keep these away from him. Remember your relationship
will continue with your children long after their swimming days are
over. Keep your goals and needs out of the pool.
14. BE AN APPROPRIATE LIASION TO THE COACH
- Keep the coach informed as to how your child is responding to the
experience (when appropriate). If your child is having trouble with
something that happened in the pool or with something the coach said,
help the child deal with it and if necessary, speak directly with
the coach.
_____________________
50 Things You
Can Do to Help Your Child Achieve
-by Wayne Goldsmith and Helen Morris
1.
Love them unconditionally.
2. Support their coaches.
3. Accept that they
cannot win every time they compete.
4. Allow them to be
kids and have fun.
5. Help them to develop as people with
character and values.
6. Turn off as a sporting
parent: don’t make sport the one and only topic of conversation
at the dinner table, in the car, etc.
7. Don’t introduce your child as
“This is my son/daughter the swimmer.” Their sports are
something they do, not who they are.
8. Don’t do everything
for them: teach responsibility and self-management.
9. Reward frequently
for success and effort but make the rewards small, simple, practical
and personal. Kids don’t need a CD or $20 just for playing a
sport or getting a ribbon.
10. Reward them with
what they really love: your time!
11. Be calm, relaxed
and dignified at competitions.
12. Accept that progress
in any sport takes a long time: at least 7 to 10 years after maturation
in most sports for the athlete to reach full potential. A little manual
work and helping out with household chores are important lessons in
developing independence.
13. Believe it or not,
kids can learn to pack and unpack their training bags and fill their
own water bottles: teach and encourage them to take control of their
own sporting careers.
14. Don’t reward
championship performances with junk food.
15. Skills and attitude
are most important. Don’t waste money on the latest and greatest
equipment or gimmicks, hoping to buy a short cut to success.
16. Encourage the same
commitment and passion for school and study as you do for sport.
17. Avoid relying on
or encouraging “sports food” or “sports supplements”-focus
on a sensible, balanced diet which includes a variety of wholesome
foods.
18. Allow kids to try
many sports and activities.
19. Don’t specialize
too early. There is no such thing as a 10 year-old Olympic swimmer.
20. Junk food is OK
occasionally. Don’t worry about it, but see #14 above.
21. Praise qualities
such as effort, attempting new skills and hard work rather than winning.
22. Love them unconditionally
(worth repeating!!)
23. Have your “guilt
gland” removed: this will help you avoid phrases like “I’ve
got better things to do with my time” or “do you realize
how much we give up so that you can swim?” Everyone loses when
you play the guilt game.
24. Encourage activities
which build broad, general movement skills like running, catching,
throwing, agility, balance, co-ordination, speed and rhythm. These
general skills can have a positive impact on all sports.
25. Encourage occasional
“down time”-no school or sport-just time to be kids.
26. Encourage relationships
and friendships away from training, competition and school work-it’s
all about balance.
27. Help and support
your children to achieve the goals they set, then take time to relax,
celebrate and enjoy their achievements as a family.
28. Never use training
or sport as punishment-i.e. more laps/more training.
29. Do a family fitness
class-yoga or martial arts or another sport unrelated to the child’s
main sport. Everyone benefits.
30. Car pool. Get to
know the other kids and families on the team and in turn you can allow
your child to be more independent by doing things with other trusted
adults.
31. Attend practice
regularly to show that you are interested in the effort and process,
not just in the win/lose outcome.
32. Help raise money
for the team and kids, even if your own child does not directly benefit
from the fundraising.
33. Tell your children
you are proud of them for being involved in healthy activities.
34. Volunteer your time
for the team.
35. Teach your child
the importance of “team”-where working together and supporting
each other are important attributes.
36. Even if you were
an athlete and even if you are a trained coach, resist the temptation
to coach your own child, it rarely works.
37. Be aware that your
child’s passion for a particular sport may change.
38. Be aware that skills
learned in one sport can often transfer to another.
39. Accept “flat
spots” or plateaus-times when your child does not improve. During
these times encourage participation for fun, focus on learning skills
and help develop perseverance and patience.
40. Believe it or not,
American kids are unlikely to die from drinking tap water!
41. Cheer for your child
appropriately. Do not embarrass yourself or your child.
42. Make sure that each
week includes some family time where you do family things and talk
about family issues-not about sport.
43. Take a strong stand
against smoking and drug use (both recreational and performance enhancing.)
44. Set an example with
sensible, responsible alcohol use.
45. Don’t look
for short cuts like “miracle sports drinks” or “super
supplements”-success comes from consistently practicing skills
and developing an attitude where the love of the sport and physical
fitness are the real “magic.”
46. If one of your children
is a champion athlete and the others in the family are not so gifted,
ensure that you have just as much time, energy and enthusiasm for
their activities.
47. Eliminate the phrase
“what we did when I was swimming.....”
48. Encourage your children
to find strong role models but try not to let this decision be based
on sports only. Look for role models who consistently demonstrate
integrity, humility, honesty and the ability to take responsibility
for their own actions.
49. Encourage your children
to learn leadership and practice concepts like sharing, selflessness,
teamwork and generosity.
50. Don’t compare
your child’s achievement to another other children-good or bad.
This creates barriers and resentment and we don’t need any more
of that!
_______________________________________
How to be a Winning Parent (10/27/2008)
If you want your child to come out of his youth sports experience
a winner, (feeling good about himself and having a healthy attitude
towards sports) then he needs your help! You are a vital and important
part of the coach-athlete-parent team. If you do your job correctly
and play YOUR position well, then your child will learn the sport
faster, perform better, really have fun and have his self-esteem enhanced
as a result.
_______________________________
Helping Your Child's Team
(8/25/2008)
The first question really should be, "Why should I help the
team?" The answer for many people is not clear, although it seems
like it should be. The simplest reason is also the most powerful.
You should help because your child benefits greatly from the program.
The second reason is that most clubs cannot function without substantial
volunteer help. The economics are not there for a full professional
staff to do all the things that need doing.
To read more about why you should help your team and what you can
do to help, click
here.
_______________________________________
What's the lowdown on supplements? (8/4/2008)
Do you wonder if your child should be taking extra vitamins or maybe
a supplement you can purchase "over the counter" to give
her that extra boost? In a word, NO. Everything she needs is in a
nutritious diet. Here are some more facts to understand the risks
of supplements:
Supplements
Fact Sheet
_______________________________________
Understanding Growth and Development (6/2/2008)
Many parents (and coaches!) have limited knowledge and understanding
of childhood growth and development. While children follow predictable
growth patterns, the rate of development can vary widely. Whether
a child is an early maturer or a later maturer can have a huge impact
on athletic development and performance.
The Successful Sport Parenting CD has extensive information on growth
and development, including charts, documents and interviews with an
expert on the topic, Dr. Dan Gould of the Institute for the Study
of Youth Sports at Michigan State University.
For an article on the basics of growth and development, click
here.
_______________________________________
Build Self-esteem and a Positive Self-image (3/1/2008)
Learning about oneself while enjoying the sport is one of the most
important aspects of swimming. The swimming environment encourages
learning and fun, helping your child to develop a positive self-image.
Athletes who find their self-worth through winning will go through
tough times when they lose, and everyone, even Michael Phelps, will
lose sometime!
It is not healthy for your child to compete only in those events
where he can “win.” When the coach enters your child in
new events, encourage him. He needs the experience of trying (and
perhaps failing) so that he can learn how to handle defeat and develop
improvement goals. He will learn that losing does not make him a failure
as a person, a big step in building self-esteem.
It takes more that just encouragement on your part. When your child
fails, you must show the same unconditional love and approval as when
he succeeds. Don’t praise dishonestly. Children see through
that. Just show love and approval for the child, not for his performance.
Continue to encourage your child to take on new challenges.
_______________________________________
Keep Things Balanced (2/1/2008)
Some children become so involved in athletics that they neglect studies,
families and social responsibilities. Both you and your child need
to remember that swimming is only part of life. Sometimes children
overemphasize sport because their parents do. Ask yourself if you’re
giving unbalanced attention to your child’s “swimming
career.” If so, slack off and show interest in other areas of
your child’s life. Otherwise you risk giving your child the
impression that swimming is the most important thing in life. If you
are overly involved in the team or overly concerned with the outcome
of your child’s races you are not modeling the balance that
your child needs to learn. Other signs that things are out of balance:
* You spend a lot of time talking with the coach about practices,
meets, and your child’s development
* Your child asks you not to come to meets or practices
* You require your child to take extra practice or private lessons
* You are the indispensable “swim team parent”
______________________________________
Learn Optimal Push (1/1/2008)
Interestingly, there is a positive side to the idea of ‘parental
pushing’. USA Swimming research conducted in 1996 shows that
kids say parents can enhance fun in swimming by providing a push.
Be careful, however. Remember that there is a fine line between pushing
in a positive way and pushing to the detriment of kids’ enjoyment.
It seems a slight push from parents can enhance subsequent enjoyment
and, as kids point out, is often needed. Optimal push shows love,
support and caring without applying undue pressure. A parent who encourages
a child to attend practice and who is ready, willing and able to drive
the child shows that he cares about the child’s interest and
successful development. A parent who takes a “hands off approach”
hoping to avoid pressuring the child may actually be sending the message
“I don’t care about you and your activities!” Be
there, be available, be ready, willing and able to help. Sometimes
we all need a little push to get us moving, to get us out of bed,
into the car and into the pool. We need to know that someone cares.
A child who says “do I have to go to swim practice?” may
be very happy to have you make the decision by saying “yes.”
He may just want to see if you care.
______________________________________
Help Your Child Set Performance Goals (12/1/2007)
Goal setting, especially with older swimmers, is mainly the domain
of the coach and swimmer. This is another example of the need to “let
go” and trust the coach! Younger swimmers may want your guidance
is setting goals. (Then again, they may not!) First make sure that
the goals are the swimmer’s goals, not your personal goals.
Avoid statements like “I want you to do this,” or “I
think you can do that.” Second, make sure that the goals are
compatible with instruction given by the coach. For example, if the
coach is working on long term growth and encouraging your child to
complete IMX events, you should not be talking about getting an “A”
time in the 50 breaststroke! Finally, focus on performance rather
than outcome goals. Performance goals emphasize skill improvement.
Outcome goals emphasize winning or time achievement and place undue
pressure on the athlete. Examples of performance goals are completing
each race legally or maintaining a breathing pattern. Achieving performance
goals is one sure way to measure skill improvement.
______________________________________
Let the Coach Do the Coaching (11/1/2007)
When parents take on the roles and responsibility of the coach, it
takes away from the fun in swimming. Critiquing races, offering suggestions
on what went wrong or how to improve, and placing expectations on
performance are examples of things parents do that tend to decrease
the kids’ enjoyment. You must trust the coach to guide your
child’s sports experience and you must be able to accept the
coach’s authority. Not only will your instruction and criticism
diminish your child’s enjoyment, it might also confuse the child,
leaving him to wonder who he should listen to or who is giving the
correct advice. The coach-athlete bond can be a very strong one. Some
of the admiration and respect once directed solely to you now must
be shared with the coach. Provide support and resist the urge to compete
with the coach! Respect the coach and do not criticize the coach in
front of your child. If you have serious concerns about the instruction
or advice your child is receiving, make an appointment to speak to
the coach privately to discuss your concerns.
______________________________________
Provide Support for Your Swimmer (10/1/2007)
One resounding theme coming from kids is that parents increase the
fun in swimming by providing unconditional encouragement and support.
A physical presence at meets and interest in what the child is doing
both go a long way toward enhancing swimming enjoyment. Kids enjoy
swimming when they feel their parents support them regardless of the
performance outcome. Your main job is to feed, shelter and transport
your swimmer while showing love and support!
You may be wondering what are some things to say to your child after
practice or a meet that show support and interest without pressure?
Here is a partial list of appropriate questions to ask your child:
* Did you have fun?
* Did you swim better this week?
* What did you learn today?
* What do you need to work on in the future?
* Did you talk to the coach? What did she emphasize?
* Were you a good sport?
* What was your favorite part of the race/meet/practice?
* Were you nervous? If so, why?
* Was there anything that you didn’t like?
* Is there anything I can do to help you?
____________________________
Emphasize Fun, Skills and Effort
(9/1/2007)
Without fun, your child may not want to keep swimming. Swimmers of
all ages rank “fun” as the number one reason they swim.
Olympians with years of experience say that they will continue with
the sport as long as they are having fun! Children don’t have
fun standing around at practice. They don’t have fun when they
feel pressure to win. They have fun in well organized, skill oriented
practices. They have fun competing and striving to win while developing
their skills. Fun for kids is not just fun and games. Fun encompasses
learning, competing, training and being with their friends. Remember,
your child won’t be able to control all of the factors that
go into winning a race. She has no control over her competitors! But
she will find success and fun in developing and improving skills.
This is one of the most satisfying aspects of sports. The most important
question you can ask following practice or a meet is “did you
have fun today?”
_______________________________________
Keep Things in Perspective (8/1/2007)
Remember which one of you is the swimmer and do not overburden your
child with pressure to win or achieve best times. It’s a sport,
it is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for your child. Let
him know that first, he is the child you love and second, he is a
swimmer. Stated another way, place the athlete first and winning second.
This doesn’t mean that winning is unimportant; striving to win
is essential to enjoyable competition and swimming is a competitive
sport! However, an obsession with winning often produces undue pressure,
resulting in below par performances and unhappy children. We award
medal and ribbons to the winners, but that doesn’t mean that
everyone else in the race is a loser! Remember that fun and improvement
are equally important and worth striving for. Accept both your child’s
successes and failures as belonging to the child. Neither is a reflection
on you! You did not swim the race just as you do not practice and
train for the race. In a recent study conducted in the Pacific Northwest
LSC, “58% of coaches believed that parents sometimes, often
or almost always lived through their child and defined their self-worth
in terms of the child’s success.” If swimming is important
to your child it should also be important to you. But don’t
forget that being a swimmer is only part of who your child is.
_______________________________
Be a Role Model for Your Child
(7/1/2007)
Children learn behavior from many different people, including coaches,
teachers and peers, but the people they learn the most from are their
parents! You’ll have many opportunities as your child participates
in sports to model good behavior and attitude. For example if you
tell your child that he must respect others, your message will be
lost unless you also model respect for others. And don’t forget,
nonverbal messages, like a look of disgust or disappointment, often
speak louder than words. Here are some other tips to keep in mind
as you sit at swim meets:
* Model good sportsmanship. Being a ‘good sport” is
much easier said than done. You can model good sportsmanship by encouraging
and supporting all swimmers, controlling your emotions when upset
or frustrated, and abiding by coaches’ and officials’
decisions even if you disagree.
* Model team spirit and loyalty. Cheer for your team and have only
positive things to say about the team and coach.
* Let go of your own ego. Put your child’s development and desires
ahead of your own. Examine your motives for your child’s participation.
* Have fun. If you are having fun and enjoying the swimming experience,
it is more likely that your child will do the same. If you complain
and don’t enjoy yourself, your child will pattern that behavior
also.
* Help the team as a volunteer. Your role as a volunteer is crucial
to our sport. You can be actively involved in your child’s activity,
meet new people, have fun, and be instrumental in strengthening swimming
in the U.S. Ask the coach or the volunteer coordinator for your team
what you can do to help. No experience is necessary for most jobs.
Don’t wait to be asked, be a volunteer!
___________________________________
View Swim Meets an Enjoyable Part
of the Learning Experience (6/1/2007)
Swimming is a competitive sport. That is a fact. While we encourage
you to emphasize individual growth, development and improvement with
your child, it is undeniable that the main means of measurement is
a competitive situation, i.e. the swim meet. Swim meets should be
enjoyable for you and your child. If the meet is a high pressure,
scary experience for your child it would be worth evaluating several
factors. Is the child:
* Ready for competition?
* Ready for that particular level of competition?
* Feeling undue pressure to perform or “win?”
The messages that you send before and after competition have a great
deal of effect on your child’s perception of the competition.
When you emphasize fun, skill development and effort you help your
child gain a winning perspective. The same is true for comments you
make and questions you ask before and after swim practice. Some children
are naturally more competitive and are very aware of times, places
and outcomes. Others are less interested in such things. The highly
competitive child may need to be taught to focus on other aspects
of competition so that she doesn’t become obsessed with winning
and afraid of failure. The less competitive child may need more encouragement
to recognize personal improvement.
_______________________________________
Learn How to Deal with Disappointing
Performances (5/1/2007)
Sometimes, in spite of the best preparation and intentions, swimmers
have disappointing performances. Learning to deal with disappointment
is one of the important lessons of sport. As a parent, you must also
learn to deal with your child’s disappointment. Although you
mean well, children can detect phony comments and resent them. In
short, praise generously and criticize sparingly, but don’t
be a phony. When a child knows she did not swim well, a comment like
“I thought you looked great” is not helpful. Similarly,
telling a child “it’s not important, forget about it”
denies the child the dignity of her disappointment and unhappiness.
Acknowledge the child’s unhappiness for a reasonable amount
of time and then encourage the child to move on by focusing on the
next race or meet. Do not conduct “post mortems” or in
depth analysis of the performance. Leave that to the coach. If the
child is unduly upset, she may be enjoying the attention she is getting
from you by continuing to carry on. “Take your wind out of her
sails” by changing the subject, leaving the area or sending
her back to her teammates. Remember, love, support and move on!
________________________________________
Understand Long Term Development
(4/1/2007)
One of the beauties of competitive swimming is that participation
can extend from early childhood well into adulthood. Parents must
understand that improvement is a long term process. It is critical
that parents be supportive through the good times and bad, encouraging
long term development over short term success. Age group swimming
is fun, exciting and rewarding. Many children improve rapidly during
the developmental stages due to growth and improved technique. It
may be difficult to resist the temptation to push the young athlete.
However, please don’t begin planning your child’s Olympic
career. And remember, there are no 10 year olds on the Olympic Team.
It is great to be the 10 year old state champion, but technique and
fun, rather than intense training, are most important at this stage.
Once a child reaches puberty, scientists and coaches feel that more
serious training can begin. However, performances may sometimes plateau
while training takes even more time and dedication. It can be a frustrating
time and it often coincides with the normal trials and tribulations
of puberty. It is critical that parents and coaches be cooperative
and very supportive during periods of growth and adjustment. Remember,
the role of the parent is to be supportive, not critical!
_______________________________________
Build Self-esteem and a Positive
Self-image (3/1/2007)
Learning about oneself while enjoying the sport is one of the most
important aspects of swimming. The swimming environment encourages
learning and fun, helping your child to develop a positive self-image.
Athletes who find their self-worth through winning will go through
tough times when they lose, and everyone, even Michael Phelps, will
lose sometime! It is not healthy for your child to compete only in
those events where he can “win.” When the coach enters
your child in new events, encourage him. He needs the experience of
trying (and perhaps failing) so that he can learn how to handle defeat
and develop improvement goals. He will learn that losing does not
make him a failure as a person, a big step in building self-esteem.
It takes more that just encouragement on your part. When your child
fails, you must show the same unconditional love and approval as when
he succeeds. Don’t praise dishonestly. Children see through
that. Just show love and approval for the child, not for his performance.
Continue to encourage your child to take on new challenges.
___________________________________
Keep Things Balanced (2/01/2007)
Some children become so involved in athletics that they neglect studies,
families and social responsibilities. Both you and your child need
to remember that swimming is only part of life. Sometimes children
overemphasize sport because their parents do. Ask yourself if you’re
giving unbalanced attention to your child’s “swimming
career.” If so, slack off and show interest in other areas of
your child’s life. Otherwise you risk giving your child the
impression that swimming is the most important thing in life. If you
are overly involved in the team or overly concerned with the outcome
of your child’s races you are not modeling the balance that
your child needs to learn. Other signs that things are out of balance:
• You spend a lot of time talking with the coach about practices,
meets, and your child’s development
• Your child asks you not to come to meets or practices
• You require your child to take extra practice or private lessons
• You are the indispensable “swim team parent”
______________________________
Learn Optimal Push (1/1/2007)
Interestingly, there is a positive side to the idea of ‘parental
pushing’. USA Swimming research conducted in 1996 shows that
kids say parents can enhance fun in swimming by providing a push.
Be careful, however. Remember that there is a fine line between pushing
in a positive way and pushing to the detriment of kids’ enjoyment.
It seems a slight push from parents can enhance subsequent enjoyment
and, as kids point out, is often needed. Optimal push shows love,
support and caring without applying undue pressure. A parent who encourages
a child to attend practice and who is ready, willing and able to drive
the child shows that he cares about the child’s interest and
successful development. A parent who takes a “hands off approach”
hoping to avoid pressuring the child may actually be sending the message
“I don’t care about you and your activities!” Be
there, be available, be ready, willing and able to help. Sometimes
we all need a little push to get us moving, to get us out of bed,
into the car and into the pool. We need to know that someone cares.
A child who says “do I have to go to swim practice?” may
be very happy to have you make the decision by saying “yes.”
He may just want to see if you care.
______________________________________
Help Your Child Set Performance
Goals (12/1/2006)
Goal setting, especially with older swimmers, is mainly the domain
of the coach and swimmer. This is another example of the need to “let
go” and trust the coach! Younger swimmers may want your guidance
is setting goals. (Then again, they may not!) First make sure that
the goals are the swimmer’s goals, not your personal goals.
Avoid statements like “I want you to do this,” or “I
think you can do that.” Second, make sure that the goals are
compatible with instruction given by the coach. For example, if the
coach is working on long term growth and encouraging your child to
complete IMX events, you should not be talking about getting an “A”
time in the 50 breaststroke! Finally, focus on performance rather
than outcome goals. Performance goals emphasize skill improvement.
Outcome goals emphasize winning or time achievement and place undue
pressure on the athlete. Examples of performance goals are completing
each race legally or maintaining a breathing pattern. Achieving performance
goals is one sure way to measure skill improvement.
______________________________________
Let the Coach Do the Coaching
(11/1/2006)
When parents take on the roles and responsibility of the coach, it
takes away from the fun in swimming. Critiquing races, offering suggestions
on what went wrong or how to improve, and placing expectations on
performance are examples of things parents do that tend to decrease
the kids’ enjoyment. You must trust the coach to guide your
child’s sports experience and you must be able to accept the
coach’s authority. Not only will your instruction and criticism
diminish your child’s enjoyment, it might also confuse the child,
leaving him to wonder who he should listen to or who is giving the
correct advice. The coach-athlete bond can be a very strong one. Some
of the admiration and respect once directed solely to you now must
be shared with the coach. Provide support and resist the urge to compete
with the coach! Respect the coach and do not criticize the coach in
front of your child. If you have serious concerns about the instruction
or advice your child is receiving, make an appointment to speak to
the coach privately to discuss your concerns.
________________________________
Provide Support for Your Swimmer
(10/1/2006)
One resounding theme coming from kids is that parents increase the
fun in swimming by providing unconditional encouragement and support.
A physical presence at meets and interest in what the child is doing
both go a long way toward enhancing swimming enjoyment. Kids enjoy
swimming when they feel their parents support them regardless of the
performance outcome. Your main job is to feed, shelter and transport
your swimmer while showing love and support!
You may be wondering what are some things to say to your child after
practice or a meet that show support and interest without pressure?
Here is a partial list of appropriate questions to ask your child:
Did you have fun?
Did you swim better this week?
What did you learn today?
What do you need to work on in the future?
Did you talk to the coach? What did she emphasize?
Were you a good sport?
What was your favorite part of the race/meet/practice?
Were you nervous? If so, why?
Was there anything that you didn’t like?
Is there anything I can do to help you?
___________________________
Emphasize Fun, Skills and Effort
(9/1/2006)
Without fun, your child may not want to keep swimming. Swimmers
of all ages rank “fun” as the number one reason they swim.
Olympians with years of experience say that they will continue with
the sport as long as they are having fun! Children don’t have
fun standing around at practice. They don’t have fun when they
feel pressure to win. They have fun in well organized, skill oriented
practices. They have fun competing and striving to win while developing
their skills. Fun for kids is not just fun and games. Fun encompasses
learning, competing, training and being with their friends. Remember,
your child won’t be able to control all of the factors that
go into winning a race. She has no control over her competitors! But
she will find success and fun in developing and improving skills.
This is one of the most satisfying aspects of sports. The most important
question you can ask following practice or a meet is “did you
have fun today?”
___________________________________
Keep Things in Perspective (8/1/2006)
Remember which one of you is the swimmer and do not overburden your
child with pressure to win or achieve best times. It’s a sport,
it is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for your child. Let
him know that first, he is the child you love and second, he is a
swimmer. Stated another way, place the athlete first and winning second.
This doesn’t mean that winning is unimportant; striving to win
is essential to enjoyable competition and swimming is a competitive
sport! However, an obsession with winning often produces undue pressure,
resulting in below par performances and unhappy children. We award
medal and ribbons to the winners, but that doesn’t mean that
everyone else in the race is a loser! Remember that fun and improvement
are equally important and worth striving for. Accept both your child’s
successes and failures as belonging to the child. Neither is a reflection
on you! You did not swim the race just as you do not practice and
train for the race. In a recent study conducted in the Pacific Northwest
LSC, “58% of coaches believed that parents sometimes, often
or almost always lived through their child and defined their self-worth
in terms of the child’s success.” If swimming is important
to your child it should also be important to you. But don’t
forget that being a swimmer is only part of who your child is.
_____________________________________
One resounding theme coming from kids is that parents increase the
fun in swimming by providing unconditional encouragement and support.
A physical presence at meets and interest in what the child is doing
both go a long way toward enhancing swimming enjoyment. Kids enjoy swimming
when they feel their parents support them regardless of the performance
outcome. Your main job is to feed, shelter and transport your swimmer
while showing love and support!
Meeting
terrific people. Many swimming buddies become lifelong friends. 
